This week was pretty fun. Just like all the other weeks down in phoenix. I hope I never leave. Like seriously I would be completely fine with staying here the rest of my mission. We got to go to the temple on Wednesday and like always it was amazing and wonderful! Hermana Manwill was super excited because it is the first time that she has gone in 10 months because she has been down in Yuma her whole mission and they are too far away to go. She loved it :) and I just can’t tell you how much I just love the peace that you are able to feel there, and how you can just feel so close to God and feel is presence. Every time they pray for the missionaries I just get this overwhelming feeling of the spirit throughout my whole body. I can’t even describe how it feels but I can’t help but smile every time. Thanks for your prayers for the missionaries! They mean a lot and we can for sure feel them :)
We had MLC on Thursday and it definitely changed me. I received a lot of personal revelation, and it helped me to figure out a big problem of mine, and what I need to do to try and change it. I remember how excited I was back in December when president Toone gave the promise that each of us would be able to find a family to bring into the gospel. I remember how there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I thought to myself "all my hard work is actually going to pay off; I’m finally going to see a baptism!" I have never been so excited on my mission, and I put ALL the faith I had behind that promise. But then time went on, the transfer ended, and months began to pass... I still haven't seen the baptism yet, but I’m still working with the Juarez family and I know that someday they will make that step. But to be honest it's been quiet hard. I haven't baptized to many people on my mission, and I remember being so excited to finally have a baptism and it didn't come. I began to question myself, question my faith. But the words kept coming to me "doubt you doubts before you doubt your faith Jess" in MLC we began to talk about goals and faith filled goals. I remember asking myself “do I have the faith?” What’s causing that lack of faith? Find it and CHANGE IT! The Lord knows it's possible and he WANTS you to achieve it. Then I figured out my problem. I have the faith in heavenly father, in the promise, in the goal itself. But the thing that I am lacking is the faith in myself. And so I need to switch that thinking because it is holding me back. Why am I putting that limit on myself? Why am I putting that wall between the goals? I realized how essential it is to build that self confidence that I AM a representative of Jesus Christ. Do I think that he would not be able to do this? Obviously he can! So why can't I do that! Don't build barriers between yourself and the vision that God has for you. STOP Building WALLS and START Building STAIRS! The thing I realized is that God wants you to achieve goals in life just as much as he wants anybody else, you are not less in his eyes, and he wants you to be just as successful. Be positive! Do not cut yourself short, or exclude yourself from the blessings. Because God builds NO walls for you.
So I am NOT going to let this beat me. Sometimes it’s hard to have confidence in yourself. But in order for us to reach our vision we need to not only have faith but also confidence in our goals, and set them with our heart. I need to have confidence in my teaching, confidence in my personality, confidence in my calling, and in who I am, I need to have confidence in my relationships with members and how I can work with them I can help people progress towards baptism, I CAN do it! There is no wall. God doesn't exclude some from the blessings, it is for everyone! :) But any way goals are a look at the potential that god has for you, so don’t build those walls!
I know I am called here to represent Jesus Christ and there is no one else in the world that he trusts more than me to watch over this area at this time. The lord places you were HE needs you but he also places you where YOU need to be. As you allow him to let you stretch and grow no matter where you are in the church, and no matter what calling you are in, you will always see the lives you can touch and the lives he allows to touch you. I love you all so much and I know that God has such a high vision for each and every one of us. What a blessing that is! Figure it out! Map it out! Make the steps! And achieve your goals! Have a fabulous week! Love ya toooooooons!